16 January, 2007

The Purina Diet

From a Funny Email I got from my Wife

The Diet For The New Year

The Purina Diet

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina
for Lola and was in
line to check out. A woman behind me asked if
I had a dog........ Duh!
I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse,
I told her no, I was
starting The Purina Diet again, although I
probably shouldn't because I'd
ended up in the hospital last time, but that
I'd lost 50 pounds before I
awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes
coming out of most of
my orifices and IV's in both arms. Her eyes
about bugged out of her
head. I went on and on with the bogus diet
story and she was totally buying
it. I told her that it was an easy,
inexpensive diet and that the way it
works is to load your pockets or purse with
Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry.
The package said the food
is nutritionally complete so I was going to
try it again.
I have to mention here that practically
everyone in the line was by
now enthralled with my story, particularly a
tall guy behind her.
Horrified, she asked if something in the dog
food had poisoned me and
was that why I ended up in the hospital.
I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street
licking my butt when a car
hit me.
I thought the tall guy was going to have to be
carried out the door.

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